Glow-in-the-Dark Life-Likes: 8” Emperor
California Exotic Novelties
Price: Approximately $40 – 50
Available Now on

There is something enormously cool about things that glow in the dark. The idea of a sex toy that glows in the dark has a natural appeal for those who appreciate whimsy as part of their naked frolicking.

But what about the reality?

In the case of the Cal Exotics Glow-in-the Dark Life-Like 8” Emperor, it’s pretty interesting.

The 8” Emperor is part of the Glow-in-the-Dark Life-Likes series of, well, life-like masturbators and dildos that glow in the dark… which kinda makes them less “life-like,” but we’ll ignore that for the sake of this review. The point is that, unlike the regular line of these items, both the dildo and its two AA battery pack/controller glow in the dark after being exposed to light.

As the name suggests, this particular Emperor dildo measures 6.5-inches around the shaft and 8-inches in total length with 6.75-inches of that being insertable… unless you shove really hard and get the textured testicles inside, which I don’t recommend.

Something else I don’t recommend about this otherwise impressive toy is using it without a condom.

The packaging and promotions assure that this “American stud… made in the USA” is crafted from phthalate free PVC, so it shouldn’t burn. But it smells like the old-fashioned toxic stuff long after it’s been removed from its fragile packaging and left to off-gas. In fact, the smell is so strong that there was a point early on where I had to put it back in its box, because my nostrils were burning.

Other than that, however, it’s a pretty nifty toy. It’s not waterproof, but it does have a suction cup base that can be affixed to the floor or a wall for acrobatic fun and the vibrations are steady, strong, remarkably quiet, and spread throughout the entire sculpted and flexible shaft.

The Emperor is easy to clean with mild soap and warm water, not suitable for use with a harness, best stored inside of something that doesn’t attract lint (because the PVC does that well enough on its own), and best lubricated with a water-based product.

-– Exclusive review for, by Darklady -–


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