Darklady’s Confessional: History of the Darklady Party Revealed

Darklady’s Confessional

History of the Darklady Party Revealed

I’m often asked how I started hosting sex parties. I’ll be honest. I didn’t set out to throw them, they just sort of happened. I’d been hosting small get-togethers for years. I would select a party theme, introduce strange people to one another, and then watch the fun, complete with flirting and match making. Then came the fateful party where I found out that there was unprotected sex going on in my bathroom. I wanted to keep hosting my funky gatherings but I didn’t want anybody getting pregnant or catching a disease, so I decided that if people were going to fuck during my parties I should make sure that there were proper safer sex supplies available. It seemed the least that I could do as a good hostess.

After I moved from my townhouse apartment into a beautiful Craftsman bungalow I put my new philosophy into action. With a basement, main floor, converted attic, front porch, and back yard, I was able to accommodate far more people than before – which was a good thing, since my parties immediately began to draw bigger crowds, full of people with creative ideas about how to have a good time. Although intelligent, arty, fascinatingly weird people still stood around talking about all kinds of intelligent, arty, fascinatingly weird things, now buxom women also danced naked in the dining room, lithe dancers spun fire on the front lawn, an assortment of delicious foods and beverages filled my kitchen, talented out-of-town friends including Charles Gatewood (http://www.charlesgatewood.com), Carol Queen (http://www.carolqueen.com), and Bill Brent (http://www.blackbooks.com) joined us, and kinky, carnal people filled the narrow space that made up my attic, raising the temperature in more ways than one. Bowls of condoms and other sexually protective devices were at the ready and post party cleanup indicated that they did not go unnoticed.

In time the size of the parties exceeded the size of the bungalow. Today they’re held in whatever venue welcomes an overtly multi-pleasure focused pansexual play party and social event and is available within my price range. Live bands play while people socialize, dance, spank one another, or make love; creative sex toys including the ThrillHammer (http://www.thethrillhammer.com), the Bonkum (http://www.bonkum.com), and a free standing sex swing are regular parts of the adult playground; and every party results in at least one expansion of someone’s sexual horizons. For some reason, Darklady parties appear to be the perfect place for people to try something new, whether it’s a kink experience, a same-sex experience, an opposite-sex experience, or taking advantage of the chance to finally meet a transsexual, a cross-dresser, a polyamorist, or another member of an ancient but marginalized sexually alternative lifestyle. Most importantly, the parties provide an ever-increasing number of people with their first chance to comfortably express and learn about a variety of sexuality options that are usually only discussed in hushed tones or misrepresented in movies or television programs.

Although there are those in power who claim otherwise, I believe that our sexuality is an important part of what makes us fully human. When we can learn about the options available to us, whatever decisions we make have more meaning because they are our decisions and not those imposed upon us by “tradition.” Although classrooms, instructors, textbooks, and moderated discussions all have a place in any educational process, I can’t think of a better way to truly learn about something than through personal experience – and I can’t think of an environment that can make learning more fun than at a social gathering. So, party on!

– Originally published in Playtime Magazine –

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