Darklady’s Confessional: Self-Gratification for the Masses

Darklady’s Confessional
Self-Gratification for the Masses

I never did get around to masturbating at my 2003 Masturbate-a-Thon (http://www.masturbate-a-thon.org). But then, I was the hostess and that really wasn’t my primary job. Making sure my guests had a safe and enjoyable time was my primary job. In a way, that’s masturbation enough, really. After all, watching 250 people run around naked or half-naked while fulfilling some of their most secret fantasies is pretty gratifying.

Only one person complained. There’s always someone who doesn’t find what they were looking for. My parties aren’t swing clubs or bordellos, they’re community gatherings where the more you get involved, the more you get back. That doesn’t tend to work for people who want to sit around and be entertained or serviced. In this case, the individual in question was disappointed to find that neither I, nor the vendors, nor the volunteers, nor my kitchen staff, nor the security force were nude or engaged in solo sex while we were on duty. As hot a fantasy as that may be, it’s not a very practical reality.

All of this aside, there were still plenty of naked people – especially as the evening progressed. I wore a skin tight, black Catherine Coatney corset-like body shaper and fishnets donated by Mistress Ember of Purgatory Boutique (http://www.fetishintheflesh.com), as well as my faithful black leather boots. My guests wore whatever they felt comfortable wearing – or not wearing, as the case may be. San Francisco sexologist Carol Queen (http://www.carolqueen.com) wore progressively less as the evening went along and her wonderful consort Robert remained largely clothed – but rigidly accessible. Goddess Vanessa was resplendent in white lace, her abundant breasts tumbling free. There were aliens with vibrating space guns, super sexy schoolgirls, gay men in leather harnesses, lesbians in black denim, transsexuals in mini skirts and lace, girls with girls, boys with boys, mixed gender couples, individuals seated and stroking themselves, Jonathyn Andrews flashing the might and magic of his manhood, all manner of silicone, glass, and vibrating plastic pleasure makers – and the amazing ThrillHammer Orgasmatron (http://www.thethrillhammer.com). Live and DJ driven music played, people danced, erotic photos and illustrations inspired from the walls – and the uninhibited Morgana led at least three bold vixens astray on stage in front of god and everybody. Given that the building in which we frolicked that night had once been a church – that statement is truer than usual.

And we did it all to raise money for four good causes – and raise money we did. More than $3000 was generated from that evening of joyful fellowship and debauchery.

I never expected to be the Masturbate-a-Thon lady. I didn’t invent the concept and I’m not even particularly good at masturbating, frankly. Sleeping in the same room with your mother for 21 years will do that to you, although I am getting better at it through hard work and selfless dedication. My exploration into sexuality via my writing, my photography, my experiences, and my parties are all ways that I give myself permission to push the boundaries of my secret repressions – by helping others give themselves permission to do likewise. This month sees me turn another year older. Who knows what the future holds for me? Perhaps my Garden of Delights birthday extravaganza will even give me the courage to someday ride the wild ThrillHammer.

– Originally published in Playtime Magazine –

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