Darklady’s Confessional: Darklady – Wacky Fun Party Girl

Darklady’s Confessional

Darklady – Wacky Fun Party Girl

I’m a classic wallflower. Honestly. It’s why I host events. When I was younger I always took a book with me to any party I attended in case I was too shy to make conversation and no one approached me to start one. I didn’t actually get much reading done this way, but I did watch a lot of people while I pretended to read. In my own primitive, naïve way, I was flagging my IQ to anyone in attendance that knew what a book looked like and represented.

I wasn’t what they call a “popular girl” in high school, although a lot of people knew who I was. I didn’t date much. My first boyfriend died accidentally from autoerotic asphyxiation in a coat closet. I never made it to my prom — my date got lost and then let me know that he didn’t like the way I kissed. I didn’t like the way he kissed either, so it didn’t disrupt our ability to work together too much, which is good since he was my supervisor. He was older, a college boy.

Somehow I found myself at a lot of parties, surrounded by strangers – musicians, artists, writers, actors, hippies, freaks, metal heads, queers – a bizarre human soup of diversity. I watched a lot of people do a lot of things and listened to even more say even more. I took some to bed. Or maybe it was they who took me to bed. Semantics is everything. Regardless of the details, the bottom line is that I met, and watched, and listened to a lot of different kinds of people. Regardless of their differences, most of them wanted to talk about sex and relationships eventually. The conversations were often awkward, the setting entirely inappropriate for any real discussion or exploration.

Now I throw my own parties. I still feel a little self-conscious, a bit like a wallflower, but I’m the wallflower who’s Mistress of Ceremonies now. I’m a wallflower with a mission and that mission is to ensure that my guests – my friends – have a great time. I try to include music, plenty of discussion space, a nice place to have a bite to eat, art and photography, performances, and a comfortable area perfect for making ze love, getting ze spanking, or just snuggling ze snuggle. I seek out unique settings and event concepts that encourage involvement and exploration. I don’t host parties so much as I orchestrate happenings.

The landlord of the building where I held my last party observed that what he saw reminded him of a Robert Crumb cartoon, with something happening everywhere he went. A pretty blonde naked, bound in pink plastic wrap with a glaze of man cream, a dreadlocked and dusky-skinned vampire in search of woman flesh, costumed singles and couples, a nude man peacefully swinging on a belt swing, Adam and Eve, a live python, a woman exposing her breasts for needles, a crucifix with eye bolts, a pixie-like waif painting beautiful temporary tattoos, fortunes told, genders bent, boundaries pushed, a night of conversation, laughter, music, and cries of delight.

Not bad for a wallflower.

– Originally published in Playtime Magazine –

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