Darklady’s Confessional: L.A. Incidental

Darklady’s Confessional
L.A. Incidental

I’m a Pacific Northwest girl by choice. I like to keep my skin pale. I love the scent and sound of rain. I enjoy jazz, a good microbrew, and living in a city that’s clean, close to rivers, mountains, lakes, deserts, farmlands, and the ocean. The thought of enduring a week of relentless LA sunshine intimidated me a bit, but I felt the fear and did it anyway. Ironically, I rented a classic pussymobile: a red convertible. There’s nothing quite like driving down Hollywood Boulevard on a bright spring day with the top down and the wind tangling your hair. In a lot of ways, that’s how my entire week felt. And it was a good feeling.

Emboldened by my sporty transportation I drove to the house where I had endured three agonizing pre-adolescent years, read my first pornographic novel and, by doing so, had learned about sex. Like me, the house had changed. Unlike me, it hadn’t changed for the better. I snapped some photos, thought some thoughts, and then started calling my porno friends. It was time to leave the past behind and move into the far happier future.

First I called Lena Ramon, one of my favorite kinky porn vixens. We’d spent more than a year trying to reconnect after partying together during my previous visit. Although we played a lot of phone tag during this trip, we were not able to renew our physical acquaintance. Then I called Henri Pachard, my post-Beat gentleman pornographer of choice. Later in the week he helped me unlose myself while trying to find writer/director David Aaron Clark’s Asian Noir set and afterwards the two of us, Clark and photographer John Nystrom all grabbed dinner together. If all goes well, Henri will soon be turned into a cartoon character by my illustrator friend, Robin Ator.

I slept around a lot while I was in LA. Not sexually, alas, but location-wise. Night one found me sharing a bed with AVN Online editor Eric Black, who had earlier saved me from an invading bathroom lizard. Night two found me on Clark’s mustard yellow leather couch, surrounded by weapons of mass destruction, entertained by the conversation of director Thomas Zupko, and enchanted by the hospitality of performer Brian Surewood. Night three found me sleeping in Arte’s Cinderella perfect cottage after attending the GayVN Awards. While partying with the boy/boy porn studs I had alternated between being shamelessly heterosexual with Ben Exworthy, the self professed “Big Kahuna” at Fleshtone Media and snuggling platonically with the deliciously mature Jason Berringer and his partner, Kent. For the rest of the week I snoozed on the kink-friendly futon couch of the gracious Master of the bullwhip and new friend, Robert Dante (http://www.bullwhip.net), who introduced me to his wonderfully eccentric friend Alexander Lehr and the amazing Gemini Manor (http://www.geminimanor.com) — where more kissing ensued. These LA folk are far friendlier than I expected! There was no kissing during my guest spot on Playboy Radio’s Nightcall but Juli Ashton and Tiffany Granath did join me to talk about my Masturbate-a-Thon (http://www.masturbate-a-thon.org) and other things sexually wise and wonderful.

I flew to L.A. to learn more about who I am, who I am becoming. I returned home knowing that whoever it is that I am and am becoming, even in rainy Portland my future looks bright — and very sexy.

– Originally published in Playtime Magazine –

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