I want my own reality show. Monica Lewinsky has one now — and other than a sex scandal that nearly brought down a president, what does she have that I don’t? We’re both dark-haired women with soft, full bodies who’ve combined sex and politics and are seeking meaning in our lives. I’m more articulate than Monica, probably a lot more intelligent, and if I’m not actually more interesting than she is – which I suspect I am — I unquestionably know people who are.
Take a recent lunch for example.
I had a cup of chicken soup with herbed muffins. Bisexual Britni had a large salad and some dessert crepes. It was an amazing amount of food to see go into her 4’10”, 88 pound body. On the other hand, she’s had far more amazing things go into her petite form.
I became acquainted with Britni after writing about her literally stomach convulsing performance in Cocktail 3, wherein she guzzled body fluids that most people project into and then flush down the toilet after drinking too many beers. According to the bright and chirpy, yellow and pink bird of a teenager, she has no taboos, no limits – sex is her god and she’s keen to worship it to her utmost ability. Although clearly infused with the sense of immortality and daring that comes with youth, she also possesses a surprisingly sharp and insightful mind. The swinging hinge of a poly triad, she admits that she takes risks at times while she’s scouting for strange cock and pussy, but she also ponders the causes of repression and guilt – neither of which appear to trouble her in spite of a sexual background that most would find highly disturbing.
Britni has left the intensity of extreme Los Angeles porn to live in Denver with her husband and his other wife in order to focus on her web and writing projects. She brought Becky, her equally slim and youthful teen sweetheart and X-rated protégé along with her during her most recent tour. According to her husband, they spend their nights making love while he tries to sleep. Rough life.
Then there’s Todd Bertrang.
I once told Todd that I thought I was actually quite dull –it’s just that the people I know are so interesting. He said he felt the same way about himself, which was a surprise given that he was one of the people to whom I was referring. Todd’s body is an airline security screener’s nightmare — with at least 40 piercings in potentially embarrassing places and the underside of his cock entirely and intentionally sliced open. The man who calls himself the “piercing evangelist” also performs what can safely be called radical forms of body modification. So radical, in fact, that the Medical Board of California recently made sure he was arrested for practicing medicine without a license — and the FBI confiscated his computers, phone books, and piercing supplies after visiting his house early one morning, automatic weapons drawn and ready.
So there you have it. Monica Lewinksky, a female stockbroker, and 20 guys in masks — or Darklady. Which reality show would you rather tune in to watch?
– Originally published in Playtime Magazine –