The Blindfold’s On – Now What?
She shuddered beneath his fingertips as he slowly traced the contours of her face, her collarbones, her breasts, her belly. Her mind was still, her sense of hearing suddenly intense, her nerves especially alive to sensation. What was he touching her with now? Something soft? Something rigid? Something sharp? Something cold? As the awareness of his touch on her skin increased, she felt a slow, warm flush rise up her body, through her face and out of the top of her head. She was awash in Now, in Here, in the timeless eternity of headspace, and the floating serenity of surrender. There was nothing more to her reality beyond her skin, his touch and this moment.
Of all the items associated with BDSM, the blindfold is perhaps one of the least threatening to the average person. In many ways, it is one of the items most frequently romanticized in so-called mainstream art, photography and literature. People who would never consider themselves to be kinky nonetheless often have no problem with tying a silk scarf over a lover’s eyes during a kiss, a massage, the indulgence of what we would call “body worship,” or even full-fledged fucking. Wearing a blindfold, or some other sort of eye covering, during gentle lovemaking can help focus attention, quiet the mind and enhance emotional connection and physical self-awareness. When worn along with some form of bondage, restraint or sensory deprivation device, this focus and enhancement can be exploited, bringing out feelings of increased vulnerability and submission.
But what kind of blindfold options are available?
- Beginners or those seeking a light sensory deprivation experience might want to employ pleasant, “found items” such as night/sleep masks, scarves, bandanas, or soft and fleecy, specially made blindfolds. Sensual fabrics, including satins, can be comfortable as well as attractive.
- Intermediate kinksters might enjoy something a bit more rigid or less conventional. Leather or suede, for instance. Lined or unlined. Ace bandages, wide belts, colored cellophane, and deflated bicycle inner tubes can all be modified to provide eye cover. Fabric hoods, ski masks or panty hose can be alternatives for those seeking fuller coverage and isolation.
- More experienced, or heavier, players may want to take their visual sensory deprivation play a bit further with head harnesses (some come with leather bits and blindfolds), head cages (also known as “branks”), or full-length leather hoods.
Cautions: Be especially aware of how tightly any coverings fit over the eyes and around the head. Never let anything press too firmly against the optic nerves. Thick, fleecy or softly padded lining can decrease the chances of pressure on the eyeballs. If the blindfold feels too snug, loosen the elastic band or buckled straps until it fits comfortably and still blocks vision. Remove contact lenses before wearing anything over the eyes, and whenever covering the entire head, as with a hood or cage, make sure that there is adequate ability to breathe. Some hoods come with zipper openings or snap-on blindfolds and gags/bits. Modular parts allow for more customized play. Always keep in mind the potential for panic attacks and claustrophobia. When removing eye coverings, remember that the eyes will take a moment to readjust to light and to focusing on objects. Likewise, a blindfolded person has an increased chance of losing their balance. Be there for them if they must move. Make sure you are familiar with (and pay attention to) the bottom’s reactions once you’re unable to see their eyes. Always remember that it’s easier to push a blindfolded person further than intended, so check your own head regularly during play to make sure you’re within agreed-upon limits.
Some fun things to do to a blindfolded person:
Once you’ve covered someone’s eyes, you have the choice to be kind to them or a little (or even a lot) cruel. Now you not only have control over their eyes but by extension, their mind, as well. Men especially can find having their eyes covered to be a moving experience that adds to the sensation of surrender.
- Speak to them: Once a blindfold is on, a person can drift off on the surreal timelessness of play. Check in with them occasionally to make sure they stay somewhere within the earth’s gravitational pull.
- Undress in front of them: Of course they can’t see you, but they know what they’re missing. Get just close enough for them to touch you but not so close that they can do anything about it.
- Walk them: Lead them around a room, through a building, over to the bed, for a ride in the car or over to a group of whimsical playmates. Stay close at all times in case they lose their balance.
- Restrain them: Nothing is more luscious than the true helplessness of bondage coupled with the inability to see what’s coming next. Tie them to a chair and devil their nipples or genitals or to a bed and fuck them. Lash them to a St. Andrew’s cross or other piece of bondage furniture and run riot over their bodies, rewarding and surprising as you see fit.
- Stimulate their mind: Their eyes don’t work but you can bet their ears do. Play mind games, make them tell you where things are, make them prove they know where things are by finding them for you, whisper delicious threats and promises in their ears, keep moving around so they can’t focus on where you are.
- Stimulate their body: Run your fingernails or some other pointy object over their skin, spank them, flog them, attach clothes pins to your favorite body part, pour hot wax over same, play nice or rough with their genitals. Slow their thoughts by bringing them very much into their body and what’s happening to it.
- Be nice: Let them remove the blindfold when the time comes. Most folks will take it off slowly as they return to the Real World. This gives the Top the chance to watch them transition back to reality and bask in their bottom’s dazed but happy expression.
- Be mean: Take it off yourself. Fast. Enjoy the gasp of shock and the momentary look of surprise and betrayal. Then hug them. Or not.